they need to just BURY HIM!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
