just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
