Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
