No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
