very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize