I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
