turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So here I am, sexting at work.
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