We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think my vagina is haunted
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize