Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
