..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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