Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
