apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
