I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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