She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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