I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
