just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
