idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
