Nicole vs. Life
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
