I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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