There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
