The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize