rhymes with "ouble enetration"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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