The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You smell like stripper and shame
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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