Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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