i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
dude. I can hear the air.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
