She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
