so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
