I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
