I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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