I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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