I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
