they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
