He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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