this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
