i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My liver just broke up with me...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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