I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
