remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
