I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
