guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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