Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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