He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
