in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
