Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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