I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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