so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
