I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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