oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
