I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
