Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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