I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
