no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm always down for nudity.
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