Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
