It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
