My underwear smells like fireworks.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can I color on your dick again?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
