We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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