I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
