Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
