Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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