Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
