We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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