Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
