no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
