..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize